Have you ever thought , "I could've gotten a better deal if I was a good negotiator"? The truth is that we are all born good negotiators. Have you ever talked your mate into having Asian instead of Italian food for dinner? Or, into painting the kitchen blue instead of green? Then you've negotiated. And, if you're still with your significant other, your negotiation was successful -- because you got what you wanted while preserving the relationship!
So why don't people negotiate more effectively in their business and professional lives? There are a lot of reasons but mostly it's because we feel uncomfortable that the negotiation won't go well, that we'll be taken advantage of, or that we'll appear cheap or difficult to deal with. How can we overcome this? One way is to think about how you feel and act during a "low stress" negotiation and apply those natural instincts in a more emotionally or financially charged situation. This will help you get in touch with your "inner" negotiator skills. If that doesn't help, here are a few tips from top negotiators:
Give real thought to what you want. The most important thing in a negotiation is knowing what you want, but being open to how you might attain it.
Do your homework. The more you know about the purchase, contract and situation, the better negotiator you will be.
Start out asking for more -- remember, you've thought about exactly what you want, so conceding a few things won't bother you and will keep the lines of communication open.
Give yourself time -- start your negotiation early so you're not pressured into accepting a less than optimal situation. Make time your friend and your opponent's enemy.
Finally, remember that not everything in life is negotiable. While it's important to get your fair share, it's also important to let others get theirs too!